Reflection #2: 05/27

    

    "Give it four days," our desert guides Chris and CC said. "Thats the magic number, we don't know why, but it is." I decided that I would live by that here. After 4 days, you get used to the tempature, the sleep schedule, the food. Reality sinks in and you understand that you are here to stay. I have already lost track of what day it is, but I know that I have actually had the opportunity to teach for more than 4 days now. My camera roll is now littered with videos of me teaching "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes," "If you're happy and you know it," and other songs. Photos of students beaming from ear to ear, a recent trip to the affulent downtown, and some photos of the garden in the court yard. 

    My stomach has begun to adjust to the different meal times. A normal day of eating used to be a large breakfast around 9, lunch at noon, and dinner around 6, with some snacks scattered throughout the day. Here however, "breakfast" consists of coffee or tea and a cracker with jam around 8:30, "lunch" is modest, around 1, and dinner falls after 9pm. Those first four days I was incredibly hungry, but now, about a week in, I am adjusted. That first night, when I felt my extremely firm bed, I reminded myself that I have slept on the literal ground outside. I also reminded myself that the pitch black— so dark you could not see your hand in front of your face— and extreme silence was how sleeping used to be before the disenchantment of the night that came with the advent of lights, white noise, and phones. These reminders, coupled with a rosary clutched in my hand, helped me to sleep in this new enviornment.

    The school was easy to adjust to. All were incredibly welcoming, from the little ones who wanted to hug me and ask questions about Roblox and Disney, to the older ones who were interested in politics and Prom and courtship, to the teachers who tried their best to understand my broken spanish. The enthusiasm and patience with which they met me was incredible, and helped to make me feel at ease. I am definitely different though. The way I dress, the accent and poor grammar which pepper my speech, my hairstyles, all of these set me apart. But maybe being different isn't so bad. It's simply different, and it is up to me to determine how I act. And although I am different— a novelty, a celebrity, someone with whom the kids are eager to take photos and request the autograph of— I am beloved. They have loved sharing their culture with me, the food, the hobbies, the vocabularly, and I have loved recieving it. 

    The virtue that I have noticed myself growing the most in is humility. It is quite humbling, not speaking the language very well. I am dependent on the kindness of strangers; slowing down, miming, repeating words. On the other hand I am not completely illiterate, and yet have some believing I am. This mix, of just aid and condesention, has helped me to practice humility as I never have before. Additionally the virtues of precense and silence. I am normally extremely talkative, expressive, and active. I keep my schedule full during the school year, from my 5:30 wake up to 10:30 bedtime. But here, there is not much to do. After 8am morning prayer or mass, we have our light breakfast. Then I am either teaching classes or left to find something to do for the three and a half hours before lunch. After lunch, I am either teaching again until 5, or left with almost 7 hours until evening prayer, which is followed by dinner. The things I used to do to fill my time are unavailable currently. A hurt ankle and sickness have prevented me from working out, there are no books in English to read, and there is no one to speak to in my native tongue. I found out on day 4 how to connect to the internet and social media, but immeditely decided aginast it and now limit my screen time. I want to be present, and I want to be productive. I have found that I love walks, writing letters, and resting. I have also found that it feels unnatural to partake in such activites—  a sign that the distortion of labor and leisure in this world has been engrained into my head. 

    So here I am, a week in, more familar with my enviornment and more excited for my daily tasks. I have found much fulfillment in helping to give out food to those living in shantytowns, washing dishes after meals, teaching kids English, and enjoying the pleasent garden in the courtyard. I have accepted my place here, and have decided to make the most of these next 4 weeks.